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Writer's pictureChris Anderson

Gophers pathetic in 2nd Half, lose 31-14 to a terrible Iowa team. Next up, 2-2 Gophers travel to #12 Michigan to get slaughtered. #RowTheBoat :(

The Minnesota Gophers played a solid 1st half of football. They showed some resilience after an early interception that led to an Iowa touchdown. With a great mix of running and passing on offense and stellar defense, the Gophers went into halftime up 14-10. Gophers fans, including myself, were feeling great, drinking beer, and eating our Lutefisk tacos at halftime. And then the second half started...


The Minnesota Gophers coaching staff made zero adjustments and the Gophers players clearly spent halftime ripping cigarettes and enjoying a friendly, yet manly, pillow fight. Iowa, on the other hand, focused on what they needed to change and improve for the 2nd half. Iowa ended up outscoring Minnesota 21-0 in the 2nd half behind an impressive 937 yards rushing. Floyd of Rosedale is back in Iowa and the Gophers are now 1-7 against Iowa with PJ Fleck as the Head Coach.


The 2024 Minnesota Gophers are not a good team. They lost at home to North Carolina in Week 1 19-17... James Madison University just beat UNC 70-50 at UNC. They just lost to Iowa at home 31-14... Iowa State beat Iowa at Iowa 20-19 in Week 2. This is going to be the Gophers under PJ Fleck moving forward unless the school commits to spending more money towards the whole coaching staff and more money to buy better players. The offense and in-game coaching are terrible and we have seen zero signs of improvement.


In Week 5, the 2-2 Gophers will travel to the BIG HOUSE to face the 3-1, 12th ranked, Michigan Wolverines. Michigan doesn't have much of a passing game, but they are by far the best team the Gophers will have played thus far. Michigan will beat the Gophers 51-0. It is going to be an absolute slaughter. Here are my thoughts & ideas ahead of the 11am Saturday morning kickoff:


  • Saturday in Minnesota is going to be a beautiful, sunny 85 degree Bluebird Day! Get Outside!

  • Go to sleep on Friday night, wake up on Sunday morning.

  • Spend the day at an Apple Orchard.

  • Pull out your floaties/paddle boards and spend the day on the lake!

  • If you don't like nice days, curl up under a blanket, brew a nice cup of tea, and read a book.

  • Buy the Lego set that you have always wanted and build a masterpiece.

  • Make a Spaghetti wall. (boil noodles & proceed to cover an entire wall with the cooked noodles)

  • Walk around Lake Harriet with friends or your significant other, enjoy the outdoors!

  • Wake up on Saturday with the goal of taking 463 selfies with complete strangers around the MPLS area. After each selfie, let the person know you have explosive diarrhea & you need to go.

  • Hang out somewhere that doesn't have any TVs.



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